What We Learned From the French

J’aime France

Two giant posters of peoples’ faces flitter to the ground out of an even more gigantic printer.

We were instantly intrigued.

We waited for two hours in a line that wrapped around the interior of the Centre Georges Pompidou to be the next set of giant faces. The JR Photo Booth, an indie art project where people can take the aforementioned self-portraits and place them anywhere in the city, was in Paris when we visited.

This was our last day in Paris. We were sad to leave. We didn’t want to say goodbye to the first country we had traveled to together, aside from Mexico. We were going to miss everything about France: the art, the fields of sunflowers arching over our heads and most importantly the culture.

Every time we return to the States, we return with a deeper appreciation of the culture we visited. We strive to incorporate everything we learn on our travels into our daily lives.

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Our French experience taught us:

It helps to learn a little bit of the language
“The French are rude,” is what a friend told me before we embarked to France. I’ve heard this a lot in my life: throngs of American visitors returning from France and all they can seem to talk about are how rude the French are. But, maybe it isn’t the French who are rude, maybe it’s the visitor.

Think about it this way: if someone came up to you and spoke nothing but Spanish, you would not know what they’re saying. Furthermore, you might be a little taken aback by this person’s approach. This happens all the time in Southern California. I’ve had loads of people come up to me and ask for help in Spanish. I’m not fluent, pero, puedo hablar despacio. Yet people asking for help speak faster than a Telemundo news reporter. They assume I’m fluent enough to understand what they’re saying.

It’s a problem. Unless you speak fluent Spanish, in which case, you would be totally willing to help them. French people are willing to help those who speak French. Or at least try to speak French. It helps to learn basic phrases of just about any country you visit. To learn the local way to say “hi,” “please,” and “thanks” shows a lot of appreciation for the culture.

Then there’s learning another language for the sake of learning. There’s this old joke that goes something like this:

 

What do you call a person who speaks three languages? Trilingual. What do you call a person who speaks two languages? Bilingual. What do you call a person who speaks one language? American.

 

Can you imagine? People actually think that about Americans. The worst part about that joke is that the stereotype is pretty true!

So, I did my part to fix that assumption. Before we embarked, I learned French and I’m continuing to learn it everyday. Learning a new language has been very enriching, not just in our travels, but in life. I’ve learned to love French literature and cinema.

Using “please” and “thank you” was so important in France. But it’s important to use courtesy everywhere and that’s why our experience in France taught us:

To be a little more polite
The French language is designed for courtesy. As I studied French more, I realized that the most polite way to ask for a coffee is to say: “j’aimerais bien un café, s’il vous plait” which literally translates to: “I would like good a coffee, if it pleases you.” The “bien” is added to let the person know you appreciate their hospitality. Isn’t that the nicest way to ask for something? Even French curse words sound polite (and a little sexy, too)!

In France, even shopping is different. When I worked in retail, I had to greet every shopper who entered our shop. It usually went something like this: “Welcome to [won’t tell you where]! We’re having a fabulous 50% off sale.” In the States, the customer is always right. I can’t tell you the number of times I had to take peoples’ attitudes just for a sale.

This isn’t the same in France. One day in Paris, we went on a search for sunscreen. I’m fanatic about sun protection. You know those people you see walking around with umbrellas in broad daylight? Yeah, that’s me. So we scoured pretty much everywhere trying to find inexpensive sunscreen. We walked into one particular pharmacy and I immediately greeted the shopkeeper with a smile and a “bonjour, madame” As I searched the store, I found that the sunscreen was particularly difficult to find. I went up to the shopkeeper and asked in broken French: “Parlez-vous anglais?” The shopkeeper went out of her way to help me find the sunscreen, even helping me choose one that would work well with makeup.

She wasn’t rude at all. Perhaps she may be rude back to people who are rude to her (like not greeting her). Because in France, dignity is more important than money and the customer isn’t always right.

That scenario made me realize the importance of being polite and courteous to people who are in a position to help me. I can get a lot more with a “please” and a “thank you.”

I also noticed something very peculiar about Americans:

We Americans are LOUD
When we visited Taiwan, I could easily spot Americans. Let’s face it: we stick out like a sore thumb. We Americans are loud. We laugh loud, we talk loud, we even walk loud; and it’s not because we’re fat Americans engaged in a losing battle with gravity.

Have you ever been to a restaurant where a family is really loud and you’re seriously perturbed that they can’t use their inside voices? Well, that’s most Americans all over the world. When we see that loud family, we want to get as far away from them as possible. The French (and any other country) feel the same way. Our culture is jarring. We can’t expect people to think we’re courteous if we talk decibels louder and attract attention so easily.

Subsequently, every country we visit, I find myself using my inside voice more because I don’t want to be that guy.

We’re attempting to work to live, not live to work
On one of our days in Paris, we watched a young woman buy a freshly-baked baguette for her after-work dinner. She chatted with the baker and a few people around her. She wasn’t in a rush to get back home. Buying her dinner ingredients wasn’t a hassle. She wasn’t stuck in traffic trying to get to a grocery store. She got to enjoy the scenery and the people around her.

In the States, if I ask: “what do you do?” 99.99% of people will know I’m inquiring about their career. There’s a reason why people instantly know what I’m asking: because in the States, we live to work. I’m a teacher. I live and think like a teacher. I put in 12 hour days like a teacher. I forsake my winter, spring and summer breaks to plan like a teacher (no, we really don’t get that time off). It’s who I am. It’s what I do.

In France, teachers are still teachers. CEOs are still CEOs. Doctors are still doctors and they’re just as happy to be such. But, at the end of a seven-hour work day, they can go home and be dads, moms, wives, husbands, sisters and brothers or best friends. There’s an excellent work –to –social life balance in France.

Because of that balance, we visitors get to experience amazing cultural perks: like the long dinners, where families actually talk at a restaurant instead of wolfing down their food, or having a picnic in front of the Sacre Coeur.

When the mister and I returned from France, we made it a point to enjoy every day we have together. Yes, we have longer work days than the French (and I don’t see that changing unless there’s a major social movement), but we make the time we have together as meaningful as possible. We now choose to work to live.

But these amazing French perks of elongated lunches and extended time off wouldn’t have been possible if they didn’t embrace some socialist aspects, which is why:

We still can’t figure out why people hate Socialism
Now, I know what you’re thinking: Socialism is Communism. But, there’s something I purposely neglected to add into that headline: We still can’t figure out why people hate DEMOCRATIC Socialism. It’s not Communism. It’s not even really Socialism. Nobody’s disappearing in Europe (or Canada). Nobody’s waiting in bread lines. Nobody is any less free than we are. (phew! glad we’re cleared up that common misconception).

Last night, my husband received a letter from his health insurance company. The mister is self-employed. He has to pay for his own health insurance. It isn’t cheap, but putting him on my insurance was actually way more expensive. So, he kept his own. Unfortunately, the letter stated that because of the Affordable Healthcare Act — a law designed to insure the uninsured and under-insured — they’re terminating his non-company sponsored individual insurance plan. This is not the fault of the law. This is a health insurance company attempting to make millions of dollars because they are now required to insure everybody, even people with expensive diseases.

That is an example of our Democracy. Corporations who found loopholes around the law to make more money.

But, that wasn’t what our Democracy was always intended to be. When Democracy was created, it was meant for the wealthy class to distribute their power in such a way that it could help the middle class who in turn could help the lower class. It was designed to give everyone a fighting chance to succeed. It was supposed to give everyone a chance to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

It doesn’t seem to be doing that now. Nowadays, it’s the middle class who can’t seem to leave their spot as the middle class. Many of them slowly drift into the lower class, while the wealthy class can get more wealthy and…let’s just be honest, have more power to control things (by things, I mean the government).

But, in Democratic Socialism, the government focuses on the growth of the middle class because they are the backbone of the economy.

I’m not saying that Democracy is stupid. Nor am I’m saying that Democratic Socialism is perfect. But, I am saying, it would be nice to be able to walk into a hospital and get care for common medical problems at a reasonable price. For the four years I didn’t have health insurance, every day was like flirting with death. I’m just glad I wasn’t dying. I would have never been able to afford that.

Now, I know some of you are thinking:  “but come on, you’d have to pay a lot more taxes if you want all these benefits.” But, that point is moot. It’s obvious I don’t mind paying more taxes if it means we get some of these necessary standards of living. I think some of the problems people have with paying more taxes is that the money gets misused or wasted. We don’t trust our government, but we’d rather trust a company with our money. Maybe we don’t trust our government because it’s run by the corporations that we choose to trust. At the end of the day, it’s a corporation taking our money, doing nothing with it and blaming  it on the government. We are in quite the pickle with this vicious cycle.

This isn’t to say that we caught a case of “visitor syndrome.” Every country has their thing that is just awful and absolutely fantastic. The US is no different. But, it’s great to be able to incorporate everything we learned. That’s how change gets started. I guess it’s true, traveling brings world peace.

What have you learned on your travels? Do you attempt to incorporate it in your daily life? 

Adieu, France.

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