Raising Cane in Singapore

“You need to put that gum away, you don’t want to get caned.” With reluctant expediency, I stashed my gum at the request of the mister. All I could think of as we landed into Singapore Airport was: “no gum…this place had better be spotless.”

The mister was merely looking out for me. After all, he would rather I go home with a snow globe a size that would make TSA cringe than an imprint of a 12-foot pole on my back.

Singapore Merlion Hello, Singapore Singaporean skyline

Singapore’s reputation supersedes itself. The place really is spotlessly clean. Nary a speck of dust or debris was insight. Sounds crazy, right? How could such a place exist? Minimal crime, very little danger, no trash. Well, even our airport taxi driver (subways don’t run at 3 AM) conceded: “Singapore government crazy” (that’s Singlish, by the way). “You know they wash bus stop three times a week?” I only wash my bathroom once a week and I frequent that place–A LOT, far more than a bus stop.

Our taxi driver was proud to point out the cleanliness and how smoothly Singapore runs. He even went as far as to clarify those pesky archaic penalties for criminal activity. Apparently, gum is just plain rude to toss on the ground, and doesn’t necessarily warrant a caning. After all, someone may step on that gum, and that’s as annoying as stepping on dog poop.

Tossing gum doesn’t hold as much weight as far more serious offenses of say—carrying a weapon, which is probably pretty unnecessary in Singapore. “Singapore very safe,” our taxi driver noted, “no need to carry a knife.” Well, good sir, we’re from LA, we can think of three good inches to carry a knife (I’m kidding, LA’s actually pretty safe).

But, those three switchbladed inches had us thinking:

Being in Singapore is like being in Los Angeles in just about every aspect. Everyone speaks some form of English. All billboards and signs were in English. City planning and civil engineering is very similar to that of the United States. There’s just really nothing shocking about Singapore’s culture.

There’s only one difference between Singapore and the USA: Singapore has an extremely high standard of living. We think it’s because:

Cleanliness

Singapore is clean because they care. It’s the impression they want to give off to the world. And it’s something the citizens can take a little pride in. Our taxi driver wouldn’t have spoken about the cleanliness if he thought it was insanity. He talked about it because he thought it was great.

Fifth best place in the world to get an education.

America comes in somewhere at third to last. It’s not because Singapore has better teachers, I can promise you. It’s because Singaporeans take a different stance towards learning: education is held at the highest level in society. Whereas in America, the first thing to get cut during an economic downturn is educational funding.

Also, parents don’t live in a bubble thinking their student can do no wrong. When Little Timmy fails, Little Timmy takes ownership of the failure. Then he learns to do better.

When people learn to accept and fix their mistakes, they do better in life, hence the higher standard of living.

Safer

Our taxi driver boasted being able to leave his door unlocked at night. Who can say that in a big city in the United States? And if you can say that, well then you’re probably packing a little heat.

So, gum is frowned upon and difficult to find in Singapore (what’s a girl gotta do to get some Bazooka Joe bubble gum around here?). But, we couldn’t help but admire the cleanliness of the country. Singapore is gorgeous. And no need to worry about stepping on dog poop, which is great, because I am so tired of having to look down when I walk.

Been to Singapore? What was your favorite thing about the country?

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